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Thursday, December 24, 2009
Spinning Christmas

my head is still spinning in pain... i cried too hard yesterday. My eyes are swollen and painful as well. but the most painful part is my heart. 

Posted at 09:02 pm by juneoesque
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crumble

i have never tried so hard for anyone. i did everything i can think of but i guess i'm never gonna be good enough.

i've said before, i really duno whats going to happen to me when i lose you again this time because i've lost you once before. And this time round, i duno how i'll crumble. Now i realise.. i'm not losing you.. because... because i've never even had u.

Posted at 02:17 am by juneoesque
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Thursday, December 17, 2009
the person who loves you deeply may not know the best way to love you or to make you love them in return

just my sentiment

Posted at 08:31 am by juneoesque
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Saturday, December 05, 2009
Please stand by me...

For months, Eugene has never truly left my heart (8 months and counting). people may (kinda) come and go.. i'd evaluate (i'm sure its vice versa) and realise no one comes close. Perhaps only JK managed to come a little close to Eugene.

I liked JK coz initially i felt that he was very different from Eugene. Eugene would never ask me out to join him and his friends (even thou he denies this) despite my 'complains' but JK would ask me to join him and his friends ALL THE TIME. The funny thing is while im dying to join Eugene and his friends, to meet and befriend them, i dread it when JK ask me to. I much prefer hanging out with just JK alone.

and i never had to date JK coz he wld do the asking... he wld ask me for movies and stuff like dat.. so i figured JK would and can treat me really well. his smuggling of the bear into the cinema for me and all did kind of touched me.

the whole world was asking me to quickly drop Eugene. Many were saying that i'm taking much too long for such a short romance. I too felt the need to find someone else whom i can devote myself to. I figured amongst those who came along, only JK seemed to emerge. He gave a rather secure feeling despite it all.

Even when i know that JK had issues with his ex gf (some time ago), i was fine. He just somehow gave me this feeling he will not cheat.

However, what i didnt calculate was, this person doesnt really know how to care for me. Our communication was a major blunder. It came to a point where its totally frustrating. And he always asked me along with his friends was coz his priorities was with his friends no matter wat. Everything that i say is like a conversation to the air. The person can upset me and not feel a thing. I end up confiding back to Eugene who happens to be the best 'cushion' in such scenerios. It was most comfortable.

It is definitely not the most correct way of handling the situations (both ways). But truth is, either way the only person who got hurt is only just myself. Not anyone else. N who is to understand what im gg thru in terms of feelings?

Most importantly, at the end of it all, what i think and feel now is, i would much much rather let Eugene be the one who hurts me if he should ever hurt me again. I'd rather it be him den some random guy friends like OPK or ST who thinks dat im so into them and takes this info to boost their ego to their friends. Like what crabby said.. " wat?! they never even came close! ". I may just enjoy that distraction, the company and i was probably just being nice as a friend.

For Eugene, I know the odds are very much against me. I know Eugene may be considered as 'high risk'. But i love him. Very much. I surprise myself by the things i'm willing to do for him or put up for him. But i know why.. its coz he makes me very happy. He can make me very happy even when he doesnt do anything. He brings me so much joy.

So far he has been the only one who is able to give me the feeling dat he's the one i've been looking for (not saying this is a constant feeling coz he does make me feel intensely insecure too), he's the only one whom i'd feel totally at peace and at ease after a super stressful day of work.. its like when i see him, nothing else bothers me. I have Eugene and dats all it matters.

I know he's not the type to bother to celebrate anniversaries or festives with me. i know he probably has attention of many others (coz while some of you may not agree, it is a fact that he is very popular and very charming!!).. i know he won't be tagged on fb pictures (and i do wonder if its coz of the presence of other potentials thou he denies it). i know all these and a lot more but I ACCEPT. I accept all these coz i'm not his girlfriend anymore so who am i to kick up a fuss. n, i've made my decision to persist. I hope one day, i can win my Eugene back.

i've never developed any of my digital photos but for the first time i did! Eugene and i both know about the law of attraction and one day before i went to bed after talking to him on the phone i decided i want a picture of Eugene in my room. one dat i can look at before heading to bed and when i wake up....



i also developed a few of our pictures for him and i told him to look at it everyday and think of growing to love me more OR think of me loving him less so i can stop bothering him. he luffed and chucked the photos in his car drawer.. haha...

and yes, we've been in touch (we even went on a date!) lately and even though its been a roller coaster ride, its good enuff for me. at least roller coaster means i have times of genuine cloud 9s and hell. Like the past few days, one day i can be over the moon and another i can be quite upset. Days when im over the moon coz of him, i can shove all other issues bothering me aside. Whereas the past 6 mths w/o him has been just entirely a downward slope. And i know a lot of u know and can tell.. work aside, i'm like THERE yet NOT THERE. i indulge and keep myself busy with all kinds of activities looking like im having fun though i dun genuinely think i am dat happy. the times when im truly luffing seems to be more of intoxication happiness.

and to be honest, i can kinda feel dat.. lately he seems to be trying too - and i don't really care its for watever reasons. thats good enuff for me. any little bit from him means a whole lot to me.

i hope that as friends, you can stand by me. This persistence period, i duno how long he will let me sustain it but i hope i can eventually pay off.  I hope, perhaps with such faith and devotion, Heaven will be moved to bring Eugene's heart to me.

Posted at 12:25 pm by juneoesque
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Wednesday, December 02, 2009
I'm very blessed to have you...

i really love her. i look back, think back and i feel so touched.

the first day i saw her, i never thot i would actually be able to be such close friends with her. She looked like someone whom everyone can only admire from afar. Guys or girls alike. I thot she probably is some part time model.

but not only is she warm, she is sweet and most importantly, she has grown to be a part of me. She takes the time and effort to know me, understand me and be there for me. She may not exactly KNOW what i think all the time but she makes the effort to put it in her heart to remember what i want, what i like, what i think and most importantly how i feel. Its the little things she say that really touches my heart...

" u know the thing that excites me is my new home! I went to see the showroom and it's lovely! I'm gonna throw houseparties so prawny wun be so lonely on weekends anymore haha! But that's in 2012 "

my heart felt a tug when i read that how she has me in mind.

i think back and recall how she specially came to palais when i had my first date with JJ.. just to be there to give me that moral n physical support.

how she painstakingly planned 2 birthday surprises for me. One even involved getting me my dream present - eugene tied in a ribbon.

how she knows from experience what i cannot stand, she won't do because she knows what and how it will upset me.

how she cried too when she knew i was very depressed and she didnt know what to do.

i can whine to her abt everything and i koe she wun judge me and she will still love me the same. and she sees the good in me. she defends me when people don't understand.. even when she may not understand sometimes she still defends me coz she sees my good.

I LOVE YOU CRABBY LEA WEI JIAYI
.

Posted at 04:34 am by juneoesque
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Saturday, November 28, 2009
Busy with what?

Yunping has joined my company too! Been kinda mentoring her for the past week but been too busy to really teach her teach her coz work has simply been crazy... thank god she seems to be fast enough to learn based on her observations.

anyway had a short funny conversation with her and crabby when we finally had time to 'rest' while waiting for a customer to arrive.

Yunping was teasing us (both crabby and me) for not having time to really coach her and conversations led to facebook.. how after a hectic day at work, u gradually don't really have time to really really play the games dat you are usually hooked onto. For yunping and myself its Pets Society.

den crabby was asking.. " so my pet got new clothes or not? " (coz i'm playing Crabby's account as well for Pets Society).

me: " of coz! i always buy 2 sets! very busy leh.. i haf 5 pets and 5 restaurants to take care of! " (i'm playing my account, my kameiria's account, crabby's account, jo-ann's account and eugene's account for pets society.. hee)

den yunping replied: " den 我不是更惨!我还要耕田和养鱼!"

HAHAHHAHAHAHA

now u know why juneoesque is more den a month outdated!







its been 8 months.

Posted at 08:25 am by juneoesque
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Saturday, November 21, 2009
The Seafoodies

A group picture of our monthly gatherings will be updated here after our every gathering... (also to make sure no one is absent!)

Nov 06 - Basil Alcove (23rd Nov 06 )



Dec 06 - Checkers (16th Dec 06)



Jan 07 - Papi (21st Jan 07)



Feb 07 - Miss Clarity Cafe (13th Feb 07)



Mar 07 - Kbox Cineleisure (22nd Mar 07)



Apr 07 - Zouk (27th Apr 07)



May 07 - Shimbashi Soba (11th May 07)



June 07 - Swiss Culture (28th June 07)



July 07 - Shi Nai (23rd July 07)



August 07 - Cafe Cartel (21st August 07)




September 07 - Fish & Co. (27th September 07)



October 07 - Hard Rock Cafe (4th October 2007)



November 07 - Seah Street Deli (28th November 2007)



December 07 - Le Bar (21st December 2007)



January 08 - Sofra (22nd January 2008)



February 08 - Say Cheeze Cafe (29th February 2008)



March 08 - Giraffe (29th March 2008)



April 08 - Potluck @ Prawny's (27th April 2008)



May 08 - Blu Jaz Cafe (14th May 2008)




June 08 - Waraku (19th June 2008)



July 08 - Rogues (16th July 2008)



August 08 - Swensens (28th August 2008)



September 08 - Scotts Lounge (28th September 2008)



October 08 - The Seafood International Market & Restaurant (17th October 2008)



November 08 - Chong Qing Steamboat (20th November 2008)



December 08 - Batam (13th December 2008)



January 09 - Popeye's Chicken (8th January 2009)



February 09 - Oomphatico's (13th February 2009)



March 09 - Brewerks (30th March 2009)



April 09 - Thai Express (28th April 2009)



May 09 - Timbre (13th May 2009)



Jun  09 - Archipelago (29th June 2009)



Jul 09 - Oso (7th July 2009)



Aug 09 - Tampopo (7th August 2009)



Sep 09 - Ah Wok (17th September 2009)



Oct 09 - Hot Stones (13th October 2009)



Nov 09 - JB (21st November 2009)



*to be continued... with many happy times to come...

Posted at 11:36 am by juneoesque
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Friday, November 20, 2009
Siqi's birthday celebration @ Overeasy

woke up around 8 and woke Eugene up to head for breakfast together!

the view outside the room was breathtaking! its like we were teleported to some exotic island like hawaii or something. the sky was especially blue, the trees were especially green! my mood was especially good!



the breakfast place...





food was mediocre...



our first breakfast together!



he left very shortly after for his work. it was quite a waste coz i was half hoping he could haf a relaxing stay too or at least enjoy the jacuzzi but he worked till really late last night.

after he left, i went around to explore the places. i didnt realise cafe del mar is right beside the resort! oh.. erm.. i've not visited sentosa for at least like the last 12 years!



some pics around...

















decided to head back to enjoy my room...







jacuzzi n beer... life is a breeze!























also went for my swim. u dun understand how thrilling it is for me to get to swim. haha.. i want a private pool!

den i washed up further and cam whored again while waiting for my masseur to come over....









i like this picture...













this series looks like wedding pictures! all w/o make up except my falsies...







the massage was really good. the masseur said my shoulders were really tight n offered to do a complimentary gua sha for me.

as i was gona check out, eugene smsed me and offered to come pick me up from the resort.

before checkout, i asked to be showed the villas and the villas are so big and nice!



bigger private jacuzzi and some even had a private pool!!!!!!!



eugene came to pick me up...





Eugene offered pay for my stay here after his profits comes in next week. i counter offered and told him i'd rather he not pay for my stay here but he will come n pick me up and send me home daily. he said he will do it as long as he's free! hehe

he drove me around sentosa for awhile. We had vegetarian food for lunch. he's been quite pro vegetarian recently.

a small encounter at lunch makes me feel dat with eugene, its always very natural. he is always very alert. i dare say im pretty alert (at least amongst the other girls i koe) already. but with him around, i still would feel inadequate in terms of situational. its very hard to pin point it but somehow he just gives me 'secure' feeling like im well taken care of when im out with him. that he is alert and he is knowledgable and he is treet smart!

got home and rested for awhile. overslept from my nap and was slightly late for siqi's birthday celebration.

took a cab and had an encounter. i hopped onto the cab and said.. " uncle, one fullerton "

the cab driver turned and looked at me and i realised this driver is a really young man.. probably only 30 odd. malay and in some ways charming in his own sense.

he smiled and repeated what i said.. " uncle.....? ok... " i luffed.

den he started to talk to me and started calling me darling. but i figured its a figure of speech although darling to me, is largely, Eugene.

so the 'uncle' is called Rhemy and he asked me for my number. haha.. feels sooooo weird!

it was held at Overeasy...



mojitos...



i forgot to try! haha

there was a theme for the birthday and siqi the birthday girl wanted all of us to dress up as guys. which is why i really like the spontaneity and fun loving nature of the butter girls! what surprised me was that derrick actually joined in the dressing today!













i had an oreo milk shake!



thick!

we shared the food.

club sandwich...



prawn cocktail...



eggs benedict...



nachos...



been looking forward to dining at Overeasy but the food turned out to be just mediocre.

but dats ok, its the company that counts!



































and tonight, we got to know that siqi and derrick are officially together! happy for them of course! although initially there was a little unhappiness coz of the way they tried to hide it from us but butter sisters do not bear overnight grudges!













siqi and derrick left after dinner. Eugene was supposed to come pick me but he said he's tired and yeah.. i didnt insist so the trio of us stayed on at one fullerton. ..



















1 out of the 3 unhappy butter girls has left the unhappy setting. hopefully the remaining 2 unhappy ones can find true happiness soon.

Posted at 12:13 pm by juneoesque
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Thursday, November 19, 2009
Rejuvenating stay @ Siloso Beach Resort

it has been quite awhile since i went on leave. after viewing some pictures of the room at siloso beach resort, i was very keen to take a good break there especially since my genting trip is highly impossible.

so today, i packed my bag and brought mum and chandra over to vivo for lunch....





mummy chose Bosses....



their appetiser of some fried fish skin is really yummy!



its really crispy!

chandra and mummy...



me!



us!



the siew mai...



not too bad, comes with fresh prawns.

salted egg nai huang bao...



they didnt allow me to take pics of the salted egg yolk paste oozing out.

feng jiao..



not bad.

har gao...



also not too bad. prawns were fresh.

mummy insisted on some mao shan durian puffs or something...



she said they are famous for this. i didnt try coz i dun like durian. As mum tried, she commented.. " not nice.. mao shan durian is not like this one " hahaha..



after lunch, we did some groceries shopping and some shopping for my stay before they had to rush back to grans.

they did accompany me to the room to put down the stuff and view the room. Room was beautiful!





mummy looks so cute here...







they left shortly after coz dad was rushing them to go home.

den i slowly enjoyed the room by myself....





decided to explore around the resort although it was drizzling....  the whole resort just simply puts one into the holiday mood! it totally relaxes one's mind and soul....





































more cam whoring in the room...













n not to miss out the private jacuzzi at the rooftop!

















brought carebear with me in case eugene decides to shoot my aeroplane tonight and i wun dare to sleep...





crabby, fishy n squiddy were quite funny. They actually met up for lunch today and they were discussing abt my stay here. They KNOW dat i wun dare to sleep alone like how i was practically calling crabby every night when i was in Perth alone. So knowing dat i had asked Eugene to keep me company tonight and knowing Eugene, they were also worried dat he might be there late or shoot my aeroplane.

actually yesterday i'd already asked Eugene and he told me he'll be here right after he goes home to pack up after work. The only thing is, no one knows what time is Eugene's 'knock off' time. haha...  and i did tell him dat he can actually go for his usual drinks and all before coming over coz i only need someone to accompany me when i sleep (CLEAN SLEEP).

so anyway, it was quite funny when crabby related the story to me about how they smsed Eugene to check on what time he would come over for me. Crabby smsed Eugene around lunch time and asked him what time he would go over. Duno why, Eugene replied her " 2 ". Crabby looked at the time, it was around 1.59 pm so she said.. " he said 2.. now almost 2.. so its 2am or 2 pm "

den crabby told me, squiddy replied.. " 2 am la "

and crabby said.. " ha.. so late meh? "

and squiddy's answer was so funny.. " by the time he knock off, go home, go drink a bit, sing a bit, dance a bit, around that time "

hahaha.. even squiddy knows Eugene's programmes so well! haha..

but truly, thank u seafoodies, I appreciate it! 

i decided to go for a swim!





i love love love love swimming! if only i haf a private pool at home! the only thing dats stopping me from gg swimming with anyone else is my hideous flabby arms.

oh and check out what i bought!







it was also to prepare myself in case Eugene doesnt turn up. hopefully im intoxicated enuff to be able to sleep. and i realise i really prefer beer to hard liquour! slowly, can by can, i tried brand after brand of beer. i kinda like stella and corona. realised i dun really like hoe garden. hoe garden was more of a mass influence, its not frizzy enuff for me. haha

the pool....











was swimming alone until this korean family came along and the little boy was SUPER CUTE! he kept smiling to me! Totally charmed! got his mum to take a picture for us and ended up with this super duper nice shot....







aint he cute? haha

when the pool started getting crowded, i decided to head back to my room for my jacuzzi.

but it was night.. it was dark.. i was a bit scared so i ringed crabby for SOS. she was still waiting for her customer for a late appointment. so imagine me trying to tok to her on my fone... with the noise from the jacuzzi and trying to prevent the water from getting to my fone.

decided to head back to the room...





washed up!

stupid eugene.. i called him to prompt him to come earlier, he tried to scare me by asking me whether there are japanese soldiers. IDIOT!

i was still talking to crabby and by what she said, i kinda know dat she was gona come surprise me.. or at least she told me she had the intentions together with fishy n squiddy just dat she couldnt convince bunny to drive her there.

but, squiddy n kevin did still come!

kevin rang my bell and placed his finger on the door hole and shouted.. " room service!! "

and truth is, by the time they got here, i am already semi high from abt 5 - 6 cans of beer. i was blabbering and i recall i even spoke to bunny on the fone.

and not only did they come surprise me...



they bought food for me knowing that i only bot instant noodles!  but actually after i knew that the girls were gona come, i actually ordered room service.



love love!



(can see the intoxication right)

checking out the jacuzzi upstairs...











room service arrived! the veal steak....



a bit tough. sauce was pepperish but not bad.

aglio olio seafood pasta...



not bad also. eugene later helped me finish most of it including the wings...



keeping me company...



eugene arrived and began working on his laptop.. apparently he still had quite a bit of work to do...



and he actually remembered the batteries i asked him to buy (hehe.. coz i was just commenting to say that he most prob will not bother to remember). i bought a $4.99 brick game from giant earlier but i totally forgot the batteries. was talking to mummy and recollecting how brick game used to be THE IN GAME when i was in primary 3 or 4. one costs probably around $60 odd? now its only $4.99! can u imagine!

so luckily there was squiddy and kevin there to play with me....



n look wat eugene brought for me...



which eventually we didnt consume.. in fact he had to help me finish ard 2 - 3 bottles of the beer.

after squiddy and kevin left, eugene continued working. i forced him to take a couple of pics wif me bt the evil him went to delete the pics when i went to bath.

so i made him take more pics wif me after i bath hence i look hideous in these pics w/o my make up or falsies...











den he continued working till pretty late....



while i went to sleep with care bear!

nothing happened in case u're wondering. we were just like friends. which is exactly the reason why i asked him to keep me company. it just very comfortable coz its him. he has seen me w/o makeup anyway (haha). 

Posted at 11:34 am by juneoesque
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Tuesday, November 17, 2009
A simple but comfy dinner

arranged to do dinner with jiahao and kaizhi to catch up. was supposed to meet kaizhi on 19th for a movie but i'll be heading to siloso beach resort for a stay. i feel very bad coz every freaking time i arrange to meet jiahao and kaizhi, even though im leaving from work, i always haf truckloads to do till i end up being very very late. But they are always so understanding. hehe

today we headed for dinner at liang seah's crystal jade hk cafe.

my instant noodles with luncheon meat and egg... which they luffed at me for being boring...



the soup is very good in my view though they say my soup is filled with MSG.

kaizhi's spicy pork chop ramen...



isnt it just a spicy version of my instant noodles? hahaha

salt and pepper beancurd...



our conversations revolved around jiahao's work which involves him having to travel around quite a bit and we girls just shamelessly bug him to bring us along especially since he mentioned theres a very cute japanese counterpart or something. but somehow or another when it went onto the person being single all along and is prob ard 30, kaizhi commented and said... " den he must be got some problem "

den we all paused and looked at jiahao and immediately....



HAHAHA.. BTW, our dear jiahao is a super nice guy ok!

den we adjourned for desserts at Ah Chew...



i went for my usual papaya milk. i like how the milk gets sweetened after the papaya. Jiahao had the yang zhi gan lu which i didnt try coz i dun like mango and kaizhi had a very refreshing strawberry with aloe vera!

us!



jiahao...



it was a simple but very comfy dinner. and jiahao always can make us luff.

Posted at 04:32 am by juneoesque
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